Twatter Feed is the official satirical social media stream of Silly Con Valley. Follow the unhinged hot takes, contrarian VC advice, developer breakdowns, and first-principle mandates from Elon Rust himself.
TWATTER FEED
C:\BIN\TWATTER.EXE — Status: Online. 32 Unread notifications.
I don’t invest in companies. I invest in lines of code that dream.
Just passed on a unicorn because the founder didn’t have ‘grit’. Also he wore crocs.
Sending term sheet. 100k for 20%. Call me generous. #givingback
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The best time to build a startup was last week. You missed it.
If you’re not working 100 hour weeks, are you even disrupting?
Software is eating the world. I am eating a sandwich. We are not the same.
Startup idea: Goober for people who want to walk but pay someone to watch them.
My job is mostly saying ‘let’s double click on that’ and nodding.
Invested in a company that makes AI-generated water. Bullish on dehydration.
Everyone hates this idea. Which is why I love it. Also because I’m lonely.
If your churn isn’t negative, you’re basically running a charity.
We improved retention by hiding the delete account button. #growthhacks
Flat round is the new up round. Down round is the new flat round. #math
Can we add AI to the name? Just asking for the valuation.
My app is like Tinder, but for finding co-founders who won’t sue you.
Sleep is a bug. Caffeine is the patch.
It’s not a bug, it’s a surprise mechanic for our loyal users.
Ramen profitability achieved. Only cost my social life and hairline.
Design team meeting holding up dev again. I am both people.
We’re no longer a crypto exchange. We’re now a generative AI pet rock company.
Building something huge. Can’t say what. But it involves blockchain and bananas.
I deleted the codebase. It was legacy anyway. Starting fresh in Rust.
How do I exit vim? Please help. It’s been days.
Frontend is easy. You just move rectangles around. *runs away*
Centering a div is the hardest problem in computer science.
It works on my machine. *ships machine to client*
The best employee is no employee. Efficiency at 1000%. 🚀
Just fired the entire team. They were limiting my genius. #FirstPrinciples
Remote work is for losers. Office sleeping bags are the future. 🛌
Let’s align on the deliverables to leverage our core competencies.
10 things I learned washing dishes that apply to SaaS scaling. 🧵
Stop trading time for money. Trade memes for crypto.