Being a first-time founder is hard, especially if you’re a Nepobaby without any real skills. That’s why we’ve completely overhauled the founder induction process! Your favorite AI Wealth Sherpa, ChadGDP, has received a massive update to better guide you through your first steps. ChadGDP will now help you generate a fully satirical Corporate Mission Manifesto that means absolutely nothing but sounds incredible to VCs.
But watch out: hiring is getting more ruthless. We’ve introduced the Probation Roulette. New hires will now hide their traits for their first 2 weeks. You won’t know if you hired a 10x Engineer or a complete grifter until their probation ends and their true colors are revealed on the company feed.
We’ve also cleaned up project management. Feature Creep events are now neatly anchored into your Monday Standup briefing. Choose between adding bloat gimmicks or cutting features to ship instantly!
Finally, we’ve polished the Pitch Battles. Playing cards automatically refills your hand, and sliding through 4-card hands is smoother than ever. Reaching a $500M valuation permanently unlocks the NYSE, and roadshow pitch victories in London, Hong Kong, and New York are now permanently saved!
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