Description
Valuation: Priceless. Price: €39.95.
Somewhere between your third pivot and your first down round, you realized something. The fleece vest was a corporate trap. The turtleneck belonged to one guy. What the startup ecosystem truly needed was a statement piece for the founder who has finally, completely run out of shame.
Enter the official CHAD GDP T-Shirt.
Why Wear This Shirt?
- Your pitch deck has 47 slides. The market has zero traction. At least your cotton is certified heavyweight.
- Pairs seamlessly with founder panic: Specially engineered to withstand nervous sweat during impromptu investor meetings.
- Printed on-demand in the EU: Fulfilled by Spreadconnect EU logistics rails. Zero inventory, zero warehouse burn rate.
- 100% Tax Compliant: Every order generates an automated PDF invoice with full 25.5% Finnish VAT breakdown per Finnish AVL 209 b §.
Size & Fit Specifications
| Size | Half Chest (cm) | Length (cm) | Sleeve (cm) |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 49 | 69 | 20.5 |
| M | 52 | 72 | 21.5 |
| L | 55 | 74 | 22.5 |
| XL | 58 | 76 | 22.5 |
| XXL | 61 | 78 | 23.5 |
Fabric & Care Protocol
Material: 100% ring-spun organic cotton (240 g/m² ultra-heavyweight). Pre-shrunk.
Care Instructions: Machine wash cold (30°C) with similar colors. Do not tumble dry. Do not iron directly over Comic Sans lettering (disruption is delicate).
Designed by Juha Falck. Engineered by humans and AI. Mocked by VCs. Worn by survivors.
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